Innocent 18

September 13, 2008

Last night we saw the fabulous Maroon 5 in concert. Counting Crows was the opening act and wow, before that I had not listened to the band since….since…I don’t know when. 

You know how an experience can send a rush of repressed memories back to your consciousness? Well at the first strum of the guitar I was 18 years old again, at the start of my freshman year in college. 

It was a classic New England fall day. The sun was out, the air was crisp and sunset colored leaves were falling all around me. I was standing alone staring up at my new brick home, tilted sideways from the weight of the books in my bag, detecting the distinct smell of marijuana wafting through the air, wearing Lands End hiking boots (no joke) coupled with an oversized college logo t-shirt and listening to the Counting Crows blasting from an out-turned speaker in a dorm room.

I remember the feeling of nervous excitement over my newfound freedom. I was still coming off of the high from the night before, when I realized that I could stay out until 3 a.m. without parental repercussions.

I had no idea that the next four years would be some of the best, and most transformative, of my life. I would spend that time laughing until I couldn’t stand up straight, dancing until the sun came up, falling in love, cursing the minus 11 degree winds, falling out of love, spending countless hours gossiping in the library, drinking until I wobbled, learning a little about biology and learning a lot about life. 

Last night was fun, but the trip back in time was even better.  ”….change, change, change…” 


Cali Coast Trip

September 7, 2008

This weekend Nick and I reached a California milestone – the Highway 1 drive. We started off going through the central coast to Monterey. It was a shock to see how rural this state really is once you step away from the chaos. Just remember to bring a nose clip because cow farms = bad, very bad, smells. 

The time went by fairly quickly, thanks to Stephen Colbert’s, “I Am America, (And So Can You!)” audiobook, and before we knew it we were checking into the hotel.

We roamed the town and had a blast scoping out the sights and pretending to be the mentally impaired, yet charming, Forest Gump. 

We even made friends with a fearless, and slightly feisty, bird. Unfortunately, Nick no longer likes our feathered friends because of an unfortunate shirt soiling incident that occurred later on during the trip. 

After a bottle of Spanish Grenache we were in bed early and were driving through Big Sur on schedule the next morning. The views did not disappoint. 

Roooomance!   

We continued south, and then the strangest thing started to happen. A marine layer/fog began to roll in. It was the heaviest blanket of white I have even seen. Suddenly, the blue waves turned into an ocean of clouds. 

The drive along the cliffs became precarious as the white fluff started pouring onto the roads. Suddenly our cruise turned into a slow crawl. The road mileage signs became painful visual reminders of our slow progression. 

Eventually we found ourselves at Hearst Castle, former home of William Hearst, an American newspaper magnate (click here for a history lesson). Needless to say, Hearst’s abode in San Simeone (one of many) was very luxurious. 

I imagine his lavish pool was the envy of all of his friends and the site of many scandalous evenings.

Lucky for those around him, he treated his circle well and build five star accommodations for their visits (very similar to the pull out couch our visitors are blessed with). No wonder the ranch became a getaway for the Hollywood elite. 

After two hours of living vicariously through Hearst’s show of riches, we were heading back to the car (unfortunate bird incident happens here) and on our way south again. 

We drove and drove, through San Luis Obispo, through Pismo Beach and stopped at Solvang. The town is a little Danish getaway, made famous by the movie Sideways. We sipped and swirled, had dinner and roamed the streets. 

Like a long lost friend, we were thrilled to see our freeway exit later that night. It was a long and wonderful day with a perfect ending – an enthusiastic greeting from one very happy dog.  

There were many life lessons during this trip and I feel like I came away from it a wiser person. Because I believe in sharing knowledge, I have listed out the most important points below: 

  • An Egg McMuffin will never cease to be excellent road food
  • If you stare at the seaweed long enough, a sea lion will eventually pop its head out of the water 
  • There is such a thing as too much salt water taffy 
  • You can, in fact, drive off of the cliffs in Big Sur if you are not careful 
  • Just because a winery has a tasting room, it does not mean that the wine will be good
  • If you are able to parlay your money into a media empire and build a castle on a hill, do it. 
  • A healthy marriage means surviving 15 hours in a car together without incident  
  • The happiest cows really do come from California 

The Clothes Dilemma

September 2, 2008

While one should not labor on Labor Day, I undertook a massive project this past weekend. The full closet reorg. 

Going through all the clothes that I had stockpiled over the last five years turned into a very nostalgic event. Hello pink skirt that I wore to my birthday party in 2004. Hello padded bra that enhanced many of my evenings – I can’t believe you have been stuck behind the dresser for all this time. Hello slightly cheap looking work suit that I thought looked very professional at the time of purchase. 

All in all, the project wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be. That is, until I decided to try on some old clothes. Well, hello black pants, gray skirt, Seven jeans and tan capris that no longer fit over my fat *ss. 

So here I am, faced with a timeless female dilemma. Do I wallow in thigh depression, put the size-too-small clothes back in the closet and say to myself, “if I lose five pounds these will fit again”? Or, do I accept the fact that I no longer have my party all night long physique, embrace the new curves and donate the bottom halves to our cleaning lady’s family?

For now, I choose denial.


Vrooooooom – Puuuuuuuur

August 25, 2008

We were going to a movie tonight. We were ready. Milk Duds and Sour Patch Kids were in hand. Bottles of water were ready to be smuggled in the oversized bag. Then, Nick goes to drive the 100 meters from CVS to the theater (not very Earth friendly, I know) and my car makes this “vrooooooooom” noise without the accompanying purr of a running engine. He tried and tried again and again – nothing. I got into the front seat, ready to work my magic. It is my car after all, and we do have a special bond. I encouraged her with a pat on the dash and turned the ignition. “Vrooooooooom” – no purr. 

After much debate about the proper towing location, contemplation over whether we should go to the movie before calling for help and angry words for the makers of Infiniti, we broke down and called AAA. 

I was sitting in the car when Jason, my mechanic friend, rolled through in his blazing white vehicle. Like a knight in shining armor he popped the hood and took a look. Then he asked me to start the car. “Vroooooooooom” – no purr. I gave him a sad half smile and an understanding nod. I don’t know much about cars, but I knew this was bad. 

Jason then asked me for my key. He popped himself into the drivers seat and with a turn of the hand I heard it – “Vrooooooom Puuuuuuuuuuur” – Just like a cat. What!? I was just there for an hour. How did Jason do this? Does he possess special AAA magical powers? 

As I was trying to convince him that the problem was real he says, “did you have your foot on the brake?” Did I? Did Nick? How can this be? How could we both make such an independent asinine mistake, at the same time? I hung my head in shame and signed Jason’s little clipboard and sent him on his way. 

It is this day, one year, 10 months and 18 days after our wedding, that I am officially worried that we are turning into the same person. 


CT Roots

August 19, 2008

After a cancelled flight, a long wait time in the airport and a connection in Dallas, I was thrilled to make it back to Connecticut for a visit. So thrilled that I didn’t mind that my luggage failed to make it to the final destination with me.  

A lot has changed in the past couple years. My east coast friends are married and the baby boom has begun. No longer are we sneaking off to UConn, pretending that we are freshman in college. Instead, we are sitting around a living room reading passages from What to Expect When You Are Expecting. As an aside – if you have intentions of reproducing, I recommend that you not read this book. I received an education that night that is sure to keep me sterile for quite some time. Why would we read such a thing? My friend (hi Jules!) just had a beautiful baby boy and her coffee table reading materials called out to us. 

Beyond QT with friends, the typical family reunion activities ensued. One can never tire of binge eating, movies, Wii tournaments, shopping and the the Mohegan Sun. I also spent a great deal of time cheating on Indy with this little white creature. 

All in all, going back to New England was like a breath of fresh air (literally) filled with trees, barns, flowers and white picket fences. 

The trip went by way to fast. Now I am left wondering how I will ever be able to run without a daily Dunkin. 


Dear Los Angeles,

August 12, 2008

Our relationship for the past five years has been entertaining, exciting and emotionally fulfilling, however the time has come for me to have some space.

Today I got yelled at by one of your residents, Miss Crazy Lady Santa Monica. She make direct eye contact, pointed her finger and scared the hell out of me. No Miss Crazy Lady, I do not know why your teacher was mean to you or why “they” made you wear that shirt. I understand that these are difficult things to understand without your Lithium and I apologize for clutching my pepper spray for dear life. 

Furthermore, the low mileage on my car does not account for the countless hours I have spent stalled on the freeways of your city, inhaling the fragrant aroma of carbon pollution. Oh 405 freeway, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Los Angeles, I forgive you for the orange haze that lingers over downtown, but I cannot forgive you when that haze infringes on my west side life. 

Lastly, my dry cleaning bill today was $176. Perhaps that was my fault. No one told me that “organic” cleaning came at a premium even when you use a sizable coupon. I suppose it would have cost the same in Peoria, IL or Gilford, NH.  

So in summary, I am leaving you for the next five nights. I am confident that it is the perfect amount of time to reconfirm that suburbia is not for me (despite all the wonderful people that live in the burbs) and that city lights and midweek wine bars are more my style. 

Best regards,

CT Native  

 

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Hollywood Forever: Sixteen Candles

August 10, 2008

Last night we ventured to a fantastic, yet slightly morbid, event – the Hollywood Forever Cemetery movie screening. The venue attracts thousands of tourists every year, each vying for a glimpse of its high profile clientele. Not the type of star sightings I would prefer, but at least these celebs don’t run when you snap a pic.

As we were walking to the movie site my friend (hi Kim) spotted a six foot hole with a casket about to be lowered into the ground. Chilling. Otherwise, it was surprisingly easy to adapt to the surroundings once wine and Milk Duds were in hand. 

The movie was Sixteen Candles – a timeless Ringwald. This genre (i.e., Pretty in Pink, Say Anything) always stirs us adolescent nostalgia for me. Aaaah…the exquisite pain of being in love. The feeling that your heart may burst if he doesn’t call. The fear that you may actually die when the breakup happens. The enviable innocence of having a complete lack of perspective. While I would never go back, sometimes I can’t help but to miss the days before I knew what a self defense mechanism was. 

If you haven’t seen this movie in awhile go rent it. At the very least, it is worth a laugh.


Things That Make You Say Hmmm

August 8, 2008

I went to Beverly Hills this afternoon to meet some friends at The Farm. I love Beverly Hills on days like today. The sun was shining with a slight breeze in the air and the tourist population was at a minimum. Los Angeles isn’t the cleanest of cities, however 90210 proper is pristine. The streets are lined with designer goods, trendy restaurants and attractive fashionistas. 

Being a very prompt person, I showed up for lunch exactly on time (L.A. translation = I was 15 minutes late). Since I was the first to arrive, I opted to visit the toy store next door to avoid spending inordinate amounts of money at the Crate and Barrel across the street. I was having fun reminiscing about childhood adventures and Chutes and Ladders when I came face to face with something that stopped me in my tracks. I have never seen anything like it, and I am Catholic. I was offended/amused by it and I am 99 percent sure that it may be a sin to purchase this product.

Here it is boys and girls, your very own “Leader of Vatican City” doll. It doesn’t move and it doesn’t talk. Hell (virtual sign of the cross) let’s just get it out there — he looks like Chucky, on Prozac.  

When my brother and I were young we used to have a lot of sleepovers with my fantastic aunt. She has an impressive Charlie Chaplin collection and one particular doll used to scare my brother to death when he was trying to sleep. I imagine that Pope Doll would rival good old Charlie. Kids are very imaginative. Coupled with Catholic guilt, scary things could happen when Pope Doll “came alive” at night.

“You didn’t clean your room? You weren’t nice to your sister? Hail Marys aren’t going to save you now little one…. muhuhahahah….!”

If you look a little closer at the pic you will see that this fine specimen of a toy is on sale. Imagine that. And with this post, I am officially announcing a recurring Things That Make You Say Hmmm theme. There are just too many funny/crazy things are out there that must be blogged about.


I Drink Your Milkshake, I Drink it Up!

August 4, 2008

I am about a year behind with this post, but I just got around to watching There Will be Blood. You may remember that this movie received widespread recognition including eight Academy Award nominations. I expected to be blown away. I wasn’t. Perhaps I am just not one for crude oil, wild west pursuits and abandoning a deaf child. What I will say is that the movie had one of the best scenes, ever!

My current problem is that I can’t stop quoting the milkshake scene, “I drink your milkshake, I drink it up!” When will it get old? Maybe never…. 

On to the next topic:

I am not including a weekend recap because, frankly, it wasn’t a great weekend. Both Friday and Saturday I lay awake at night – my mind racing faster than Mario Andretti on his best race day. It is interesting how something relatively minor can happen and all of the sudden you are propelled down a path of worry and over contemplation regarding everything else in your life. Who is driving this neurotransmitter train we call thought? Clearly I am not wearing the conductor cap after the strike of midnight. 

I Drink Your Milkshake – I Drink it Up! Here we go again. Please someone, make the voices stop.


Why is my Dog Peeing on the Floor?

July 30, 2008

When Nick saw me taking pictures tonight, he demanded that I start this post by stating that our dog, is in fact, potty trained. Ok, got that over with, now I can start:

I am seriously questioning whether Indy is potty trained. Sometimes (and by sometimes I mean sporadically since we got our little bundle of joy 2 1/2 years ago) he has taken to peeing on the floor. But he doesn’t just pee like a normal dog. Your every day Fido has the courtesy and decency to pee in one neat, easy to clean puddle. Our dog walks all through the living room, spreading it around like a sprinkler watering a parched lawn on the fourth of July. Graphic and gross, I know, but I think you have to see it to believe it:

  

Now I love this dog more than life itself, but when you layer the pee on top of the inch of dog hair, our glamorous high rise apartment becomes something out of a COPS episode – you know, when the cops bust into the crack den and find the passed out parents and illiterate kids living in squalor.

Since this isn’t the dog’s normal MO, I am not sure what to do. Should I yell and scream? Should I bring him to an animal communicator to see if he has repressed memories from puppyhood that are surfacing? Some tell me (hi Mom) that I should “spank his little *ss” and he will get the message. I just can’t do it. Anyone have a better solution? 

The fact is, Indy knows that he has done something wrong. One look at his guilty little face and my heart melts. How could it not?

The conclusion I have to come to is that our dog has trained us. He knows that he has us wrapped around his white tipped little paw. I hold out hope that some day I will become the Alpha in his eyes, but if that doesn’t happen I am going to make damn sure that our next place has a doggie door.